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Biggest Regret.

Sad, confused, afraid, unacceptable and uncomfortable. These what I felt when I was young when a friend talks about our favorite childhood memories all I could say was “Nothing”. I’m not happy I mean my childhood memories is my biggest regret and it’s worst.


My mom was a second wife of my father, and they’re not legal my father is still married to her first wife. Yes, I’m one of an illegitimate child actually, were three and I’m the older.  There are many times that bad memories are in my mind and  I can’t let go those memories because I can’t it’s not easy to forget.  I missed my grandma, she accepted me with her heart and her open arms, she took care me when we were in her house for a summer break from school.

That time my age is 7 or 8, Yes I remembered it, I remembered all I will never forget it. My few relatives from North America, are very kind they’re also accepted me as their niece. Bullying from my cousins is one of my bad memories.  They treat me like nothing I can’t see their point it’s not my fault through being a cause of sin.

It’s been 12 years and  I can’t still forget it for some reason. They’re good when I’m in their face but when I’m not, they sound like gossip. I feel sad, unacceptable, uncomfortable and mostly nothing in their hand.

That’s why I don’t like hanging out with them because I’m not comfortable but I do for those who cares about me, my personality, and the whole me.  This is my biggest Regret.


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4 thoughts on “Biggest Regret.

  1. Hi Nicole,

    Being in a dysfunctional family is not an easy thing. My childhood was not out of a fairy tale either. I had to hit bottom so as to find the strength and rise. Don’t regret anything, just learn from the past and heal from it. Heads up!


  2. Sorry for your bad memmories. We have to accept the past, and to rezolve it.
    I know somebody who is close to thoese who suffer. He doesn-t dispaise somebody, even if He was dispaise.
    Beeing your friend is the most wonderful thing ever. He help you to rezolve your past, He give you power to overcome anythings.
    He said: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matew 11: 28
    He loves you and He accept you how you are, because He permited you to came on the earth. He will carry you, and He love you very much. You are beautiful and so precious.
    Jesus Loves you!
    Melania 🙂

    1. You’re amazing, thank you! Honestly, I already accept the past slowly, thank you for your being friend for me. Jesus really loved me. <3

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